ABBA Met the Same Fate

I love this style of upper-body dancing. I call it "The Unfortunate War Veteran".

Also, girls-- please don't get too excited about Ken. There's not much flavour South of the border, if you know what I mean. But that hair he's rocking... that hair is man enough for twelve eunuchs. And I love his "I don't give a shit" attitude. So typical of the underground-club-coke-and-bareback-for-cash 80's man.

I forgot how 80's style was capable of morphing a 10-year old girl into a 34-year old Michigan housewife. A tightly-coiled perm, eyebrows as thick as molasses, and a good sweep of blue eyeshadow for good measure could turn Stephanie Tanner into Mrs. Seaver.

My favourite part-- skip to 0:21 when Barbie asks Ken to join the band- she's still dancing!! Bitch is a fucking slave to the rhythm! I'll bet she rode the scene hard until 1993, when she found Jesus and renounced her sinful ways. Ken left her and headed to Seattle where he played drums in a band called Reject-ulation until he got his Masters in philosophy.

Ah well... we all have to grow up sometime.

He Also Said He's Not Ready to Commit to Something Serious

What do you say to the graduate with absolutely no prospects on his horizon? What sentiment fits such a bleak, uncertain occasion?

This cake depresses me deeply. Is it the Wal-Mart shade of blue? The utter lack of punctuation, denoting an utter lack of emotion? The well-wisher seems not to even care enough about poor Evan to grant him the full words 'love you'.

This is the pastry equivalent to getting a card from your sweetheart with an inscription that reads: Love Ya :)

You're in my heart, Evan. Deep in my <3


Via Cakewrecks

Friday Filmstrips

Just in case you haven't seen it....

Prop 8 The Musical

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from Jack Black

Thy Will Be Done, But After Ours

In my meanderings of the interweb, I recently came across a piece of U.S history—words spoken by General Patton. Bad, rainy weather had immobalized his troops, and he decided to call upon higher powers to intercede.

General Patton: “Chaplain, I want you to publish a prayer for good weather. I’m tired of these soldiers having to fight mood and floods as well as Germans. See if we can’t get God to work on our side.”

The resulting prayer, which was distributed by the U.S. Army with Patton’s Christmas greetings, called upon God
“to restrain these immoderate rains with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for Battle. Graciously harken to us as soldiers who call upon Thee that, armed with Thy power, we may advance from victory to victory, and crush the oppression and wickedness of our enemies, and establish Thy justice among men and nations. Amen”.

Translation:

Hey, God! We’re trying to win. Please stop the rain, which you, in your infinite wisdom, have decided to bless us with. We arm ourselves with your power, and AK47’s. Bazookas too, but mostly your power. Your power is soooooo powerful. It’s so powerful, it can create rain to water our crops and nourish our cattle so that we can eat and drink and survive. But stop the rain. Pretty please. We fight in your name, and in your name we pray, please stop exerting your power. Your will be done. Please conform to our will. Love, Us.

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Source (Unfortunately)

Proselytism FAIL

I just went to get some coffee and on the way I FOUND A SAVIOUR!

... So many questions.

Let's begin: Why the excessive (ie. exclusive) caps?

I mean, I *guess* religious tracts found on kitchen appliances warrant caps. God certainly speaks and writes in caps.

As for Jesus... I'm not so sure. He probably gave God shit for writing in caps. He's all "Bitch, please".

This note also features one of my favourite usages of exclamation points: Excessive!

Or, rather, EXCESSIVE!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!

Because with each additional exclamation, I come closer to the Lord!!!!! Here I come, Sweet Baby Jesus!!!!!!!!! Testify, tell it to the sky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must note that there are 10 exclamation points in total. If the study of Renaissance art has taught me anything, it is the iconographic meaning of numbers in 15th and 16th century religious painting.

Mrs. Klondike (for such is her name) is clearly alluding to the 10 commandments. In addition, the 5 ellipsis points after her concluding statement refers to the 5 wounds of Christ, (an apt reference during this most sacred season of Lent). Combined, 10 + 5= 15. 1+5 =6, the number associated with Creation. The red font suggests The Passion, which is completed on Easter Monday.

Therefore, the iconographic interpretation is thus:

The body of Christ, residing in the Klondike Bar, is meant to be accepted as the Eucharist on Good Friday. There will be additional Klondike Bars purchased on Easter Monday, which will then undergo transubstantiation and be stored in the freezer next to the peas.


(In other words: Bitch, please. It's just ice cream).


Source