Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Spring Cleaning

Dear Sir,

Firstly, I would like to extend my kudos. I don't know how you were able to get my email address, but clearly you did some top-rate investigative work, and for this, I commend you.

Secondly, thank you. In my daily perusal of my emails, I happened upon your message. Granted, it was in my Junk Mail, but as they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure.

And this, my good man, was indeed treasure. The title you gave to this email is absolute poetry. In fact, I would like to present (in the Dadaist tradition), my first ever Found Poem:

Found Poem Alpha

Remove Toxic Sludge from your Colon.
As seen on Oprah.

Now, I can only attribute your (correct!) foresight to more of that stellar investigative genius. I do have toxic sludge in my colon, and it does need to be removed! Finally, I can now get the colon-refreshing relief that I so sorely need.

Again, thank you so very much. If I can ever repay you for this wonderful gift, please, do not hesitate to ask.

With warmest wishes and
sincerest thanks,
M. Wood.


a ghost said...

I have been collecting junk mail poetry for a while, I forget about it but check again every now and then. The quality has declined quite a bit, there are a number of great one-liners these days.

-jamesy poo

Matt said...

I seldom watch Oprah due in fact to the amount of toxic sludge seen oozing from her mouth, or is that her colon? Hmm.

Anonymous said...