While listening to Joel and Jenn, hosts of my favourite podcast/carnival of mortal delight that is Squidpod, I at once felt such camaraderie with Joel as he listed off qualities which he considers unfuckable. According to Mr. Squidpod, anyone who says the following is instantly off his list:
- "On Oprah I saw..."
- "Jenny McCarthy said..."
- "Yoga pants are SOOO comfortable"
I feel you, my brother.
Some girls are fucking retards. So are some men (but that's another post).
Though I don't sleep with women, there are certainly boundaries which, when crossed, warrant my disdain. So, at the risk of offending some friends and the public at large (and by public at large, I mean the 6 people who read this blog), I would like to present my own list, which I like to call...
"If You Ever Say This To Me, I Will Kick You in the Clitoris":
- "That totally reminds me of something I read in Twilight..."
- "...and then I saw the man of my dreams. There he was, with a Bluetooth and an Ed Hardy shirt, the sun glistening on his shaven head..."
- "Where did you put my Gilmore Girls box set?"
- "Awwww, he treats me like a princess!"
- "No, it's true! I read it in an email my mom forwarded to me!"
- "OMG, when I saw that, I totally LOL'd!"