Thursday, June 25, 2009

Because I'm a Legend In My Own Mind. And In Yours.

James Lipton's Ten Questions.

1. What is your favourite word?

2. What is your least favourite word?

3. What turns you on?
Really good cologne, and Daniel-Day Lewis as Bill the Butcher in "Gangs of New York".

4. What turns you off?
Reciprocal prolapses

5. What is your favourite curse word?
'Cunt'. I so rarely get a chance to use it, though. People are so sensitive about being called 'cunty' these days.

6. What sound or noise do you love?
Thunder, and the sound of the bones cracking in my neck.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
When someone's nose is whistling. Or the creepy accents that men in California have.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I would like to get my Ph. D in sass. Also, I would like to work the machine that makes those little donuts.

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
Anything in sales or professional sports.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Welcome home. You did a great job, but next time around, can we please watch the goddamn language?"