Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Thy Will Be Done, But After Ours




In my meanderings of the interweb, I recently came across a piece of U.S history—words spoken by General Patton. Bad, rainy weather had immobalized his troops, and he decided to call upon higher powers to intercede.

General Patton: “Chaplain, I want you to publish a prayer for good weather. I’m tired of these soldiers having to fight mood and floods as well as Germans. See if we can’t get God to work on our side.”


The resulting prayer, which was distributed by the U.S. Army with Patton’s Christmas greetings, called upon God
“to restrain these immoderate rains with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for Battle. Graciously harken to us as soldiers who call upon Thee that, armed with Thy power, we may advance from victory to victory, and crush the oppression and wickedness of our enemies, and establish Thy justice among men and nations. Amen”.

Translation:

Hey, God! We’re trying to win. Please stop the rain, which you, in your infinite wisdom, have decided to bless us with. We arm ourselves with your power, and AK47’s. Bazookas too, but mostly your power. Your power is soooooo powerful. It’s so powerful, it can create rain to water our crops and nourish our cattle so that we can eat and drink and survive. But stop the rain. Pretty please. We fight in your name, and in your name we pray, please stop exerting your power. Your will be done. Please conform to our will. Love, Us.