Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Listed, Fisted.

Bandwagon jumper? Heck yes, I am.

I have been collecting these cherished moments all year long, writing them out on handmade paper and storing them in a treasure box under my bed just for this very occasion. I certainly didn't pull them out of my ass on December 23rd, and wrote them in 20 minutes while watching "A Christmas Story" and wondering where my life went wrong.

As is my custom on this blog and in my life, I will veer away from relevant current events and draw from my own experiences. Self-indulgent. I know. You love me anyways.

1. Top vacation destination of 2009:
Grande Prairie

2.Top shoplifted item of 2009:
Grande Prairie

3. Top summertime memory of 2009:
Writing brilliant (but largely unappreciated) haikus for the catastrophe team at a large Dutch insurance company for whom I worked. Clearly, the term 'work' is a catch-all term for dicking around for 8.5 hours a day.

4. Top health scare of 2009:
The huge zit on my chin that my mom thought might be cervical cancer.

5. Top friend-fight of 2009:
When Tara got offended that I called her deceased mother a ho.

6. Top educational pursuit of 2009:
Trying (and succeeding!) to teach myself how to whistle. Poorly.

7. Top misunderstood song lyrics of 2009:
When I thought that the Kings of Leon wrote a hit song about Alexisonfire.

8. Top philanthropic gesture of 2009:
The luxurious household furnishings that I sold to charity at a moderately discounted price.

9. Top blog I contributed to in 2009:
Sure as fuck not this one.

May your season be filled with joy, laughter, cheer, and Boney M.